It seems like time has been swirling by so fast, one day it’s New Years and then the next it’s almost St. Patty’s Day. I keep seeing ads for bathing suits, I guess it doesn’t help that I clicked on one and now the entire internet thinks that I am really in the market for one. My social media pages are swimming in ads for bathing suits and my google searches ask if I need a suit, not really, but it feels that way.

I suppose that it is really time to start thinking about it because by the time that you need a suit you won’t be able to find one in the brick and mortar stores and online you won’t be able to find your size. If you’re on a diet and hope to lose those last 10 plus stubborn pounds or still have the whole road to go, it’s time to man up and just buy one. You could buy one in your current size and in your hope to be size to cover your bases, I mean, it’s an idea. If losing that weight determines which style you go for, just pick one in between what you’re currently comfortable with and the one you hope to wear this summer.

Now, which suit will it be… ooo-la-la or almost ooo-la-la or forget about ooo-la-la and head straight to the camo section. You could just say no to the pool, sand and all of the outdoors. No, you can’t. It’s time to buck up buttercup and do what makes you happy. Do the whole dance like nobody is watching shit. Really, at the end of the day, that’s where it’s at, doing it your style all the way.

The sane approach to this stupid ass summer tradition is to embrace it. If I sound like your crazy aunt, you know the one, she smoked pot before it was um, legal… she didn’t shave her legs before that was a thing (is that a thing) and she always let you stay up later than your folks said that it was okay… then hello honey, call me auntie.

Who do we pick our swimsuits for, ourselves? Do we pick our suits for the other women we may encounter? Oh Lordy, do we pick our suits for our husbands, boyfriends or soon-to-be(s)? Remember that all pictures that are taken of you, should be taken from the chest up, ribs up at the most or just take a picture of your toes in the sand or pool. (Add a can of beer or a frozen drink in the shot and wa-lah!) No one should ever take a full body picture in a suit, and oh my, NEVER let someone take a picture of you sitting in a lounge chair. No one passes the sit-down test, no one. (Well maybe my friend Maggie, but she’s an anomaly from Hungary that dances for a living)

Swimsuits are a way to go out in public (a legal way to be almost naked) and get into the water. If you only want to tan, by the way, that isn’t recommended anymore, doctors these days really frown on us for sunbathing. Go figure! Wait, my point was, skip the suit and get one of those really cute fit and flare dresses at Old Navy. I mean, if you aren’t ever going into the water, why put yourself through that whole swimsuit crap?

When it comes to swimsuits, well, I am kind of an addict, which is funny because I haven’t been a ‘sexy’ weight in like 10 years. I buy too many pairs of boots, designer bags, and swimsuits. The boots, I rarely wear (I’m most comfortable in leggings/shorts and flipflops), the bags, (in fear of ruining them) I rarely wear and the suits I wear all of the time and usually don’t care who cares. I will admit that occasionally, I get self-conscious and reach for a towel to cover up or just jump in the pool, but mostly, I wear me the best that I can. And that is the best advice I can ever offer. Lose the weight, don’t lose the weight… just be happy and be you.

Happy Swimming!!!!