It’s a lifelong issue, people. We have to deal with people all day every day. Some of the people that we deal with are not people we would ever spend a minute with, let alone the hours of time we have to work with them, or get treated by them or served by them. How are we to cope with all of these people? Obviously, I am playing around a bit about people, but there is something to it if only a little.
The reason we have friends, or how we get them and keep them is because we find people, if not attracted to like-minded folks. We open our lives to people that we think are like us, who have similar thoughts, ideas and morals. Why? Sometimes not even I can guess why we let people into our lives.
People make us feel better, they bring us joy and are who we surround ourselves with to, amongst other things, ward off loneliness. But because no one is ‘us’ there will always be a slight discord, won’t there? We will always have disagreements, we will always run into that friend that is only in our lives for a season or a reason, and of course, the friend that is there for a lifetime.
What makes a friendship last? Is it honesty, telling each other how we feel whether it’s good or bad no matter the outcome? Is the key to a long friendship just settling for a friend that checks off most of the ‘needs’ boxes and ignoring everything else? Is it compartmentalizing our relationships and not forcing a good friend to sit in a box that really isn’t them? Is it having a cache of friends that we can call on when we want to have drinks or go shopping or see a movie and even do nothing? Picking only the friends for certain events that they are comfortable with and not forcing them to be friends with you in an environment that isn’t their cup of tea? Or rather expecting them to do so. And if this really is the case, why? Shouldn’t we really just concentrate on the people that enjoy all of the same things that we do? Maybe that friend doesn’t exist.
I have had many friends over the years. I have made friends with other women who felt more like family than a friend. I have opened my heart, closed my heart and been left standing in the emotional rain, for a lack of a better way to put it. I know in me that I can be a wild card. I can be your best friend, the friend that doesn’t answer the phone and the friend can go years without seeing or talking to you and pick up where we left off, good or bad, the last time we were together. I am not a perfect friend, far from it and likely less of one in the last five years. I have lost friends because I am selfish with my time and couldn’t give enough, I have said goodbye to friends over too many lies and deception and I have lost friendships for reasons I still don’t know. In the end, I miss some, so glad to have severed ties with others and wonder where some of my current friendships will lead.
If you have a friend that is more like a family member, please cherish that friendship, feed it and be honest with it. Love outwardly like you’d like to see it come back to you. Be positive that it can be what you imagine it to be and guard yourself enough to not give too much of you away. Remember too that, to be honest, you have to accept honesty and sometimes that is the hardest of all, but if that person is important enough, you can learn to accept whatever darkened clouds come your (friendship) way. Even if that darkened cloud, from time to time, is you.